A life well loved

Hello you bee's knees.

It has been a beautiful week in New Brunswick, full of all the things that this annual summer pilgrimage has on offer: blueberries and belly laughs, shells and driftwood collected, relaxed coffee-scented mornings, sun-warmed rocks and leafy forest walks, long dinners and casual conversations to catch up and connect, salty winds off the ocean and frigid dips in the sea. It is always a rich and restorative week, and this year was no exception.    

With both Sweden and New Brunswick under my belt, and as I poke my head out from the weeds and wild flowers of a couple of weeks on holiday, I am feeling a mixture of immense gratitude for the time I have spent-- that time all stretched and quiet and easy and full-- and I am also feeling ready to step back into the fray.

However, before jumping back in with both feet, I thought I would use this dispatch to keep things simple and mark the passing of Toni Morrison this week. I love her thoughtful and unapologetic perspective on the effort, pain and beauty of a life well lived, and how she weaves that point of view so deftly into all of her writing. I love her depth of character and skill, her simple yet refined artistry, and her intelligent activism. (Check out her Nobel prize lecture-- a masterclass). And I also love how she wrote about love. We have not talked explicitly about love much in these dispatches, but the reality is that love underpins most everything we are exploring (bad cat videos excepted-- or maybe not). Whether we are talking about the self, others, one's passions or the world, love is the undercurrent that moves, evolves and powers all of it.

So before we get too mooshy (I will likely be picking this up as the autumn unfolds), below is a favourite passage from Toni Morrison's Paradise which I revisited recently, and in which I find new meaning every time I pick it up. It has some religious undertones, but don't get stuck on them if it is not your thing (as it is not mine)-- the beauty and truth of the passage can still resonate.  Also, given her recent passing, this kind of writing, for me, serves as a poignant reminder of the transcendence and legacy of the words we share. 

“Let me tell you about love, that silly word you believe is about whether you like somebody or whether somebody likes you or whether you can put up with somebody in order to get something or someplace you want or you believe it has to do with how your body responds to another body like robins or bison or maybe you believe love is how forces or nature or luck is benign to you in particular not maiming or killing you but if so doing it for your own good. Love is none of that. There is nothing in nature like it. Not in robins or bison or in the banging tails of your hunting dogs and not in blossoms or suckling foal. Love is divine only and difficult always. If you think it is easy you are a fool. If you think it is natural you are blind. It is a learned application without reason or motive except that it is God. You do not deserve love regardless of the suffering you have endured. You do not deserve love because somebody did you wrong. You do not deserve love just because you want it. You can only earn - by practice and careful contemplations - the right to express it and you have to learn how to accept it. Which is to say you have to earn God. You have to practice God... And if you are a good and diligent student you may secure the right to show love. Love is not a gift. It is a diploma. A diploma conferring certain privileges: the privilege of expressing love and the privilege of receiving it. How do you know you have graduated? You don't. What you do know is that you are human and therefore educable, and therefore capable of learning how to learn, and therefore interesting to God, who is interested only in [her]self which is to say [she] is interested only in love. Do you understand me? God is not interested in you. [S]he is interested in love and the bliss it brings to those who understand and share the interest.”

― Toni Morrison (from Paradise)

PS: If you are so inclined, we also just listened to a great OnBeing podcast on the drive home from New Brunswick to Ottawa, featuring Darnell Moore who says "honest, uncomfortable conversations are a sign of love — and that self-reflection goes hand-in-hand with culture shift and social evolution." A really interesting conversation, and a nice accompaniment to the quote above and Toni Morrison's general ambition for the world, if you are interested in following the thread a bit further.

As we move into the waning weeks of summer and contemplate facing the long shadows and crisp, spicy crunchiness of autumn, I am grateful to feel more centered, grounded and able to re-appreciate some of the wisdom from one of the more brilliant women with whom we have been lucky enough to share some time together on this earth.

But wait! Is all this talk of the difficulty and imperative of love a bit too intense on a sunny Sunday morning?  Then please enjoy this video of men trying to beat Serena Williams at her own game...

Still too much realness?  Then please check out this video of one of my favourite Youtube Channels and their ridiculous recipes for modified Mac and Cheese.

From one replenished person to another, I am glad that we can take time and space to reflect together. I hope you enjoyed this dispatch, and have a love-filled week!

Until next Sunday,
The Earnest Platypus