I did this to myself
Hello you kaleidoscope of colors.
So friends: I could try to cobble something meaningful together-- there is so much going on and so much to reflect on and explore together right now. But the honest truth is that I am running on the wispy-est of fumes in this moment, and I would be doing myself a disservice to try to spend the day sitting in front of my computer writing another essay instead of doing what I need to do-- which is get off of this machine, go for a walk by the river, jam my face into the crisp, sunny morning and breathe.
Did I know that going to school full time while running my own business and overcommitting myself with wonderful side projects was going to catch up with me? Yes.
Am I surprised I have gotten to this state of breathlessness? No.
Does this awareness change the experience? Well... actually yes.
I am grateful for all of the things in my life contributing to this breathlessness-- it feels like too much, but it is also full of insight and abundance, even the difficult parts. I am also grateful to understand that I have made choices to get me into this situation, even if I could see it coming. This is my own doing, and in typical fashion, I both love that I am in this horn-of-plenty situation in some ways; and yet I have compassion for the anxiety, fears and neuroses I carry that have compelled me to keep moving forward in this way when I probably shouldn't.
Knowing I have made decisions that have brought me to this place-- one that is both nourishing and impossible at the same time-- I am grateful to know that I can make different decisions.
So that is where we are at this week.
I have so many things I could be doing right now to be productive, but I want to make a different decision and step off the treadmill for a few hours. Thank you for understanding this decision. As a gesture of goodwill, I am going to share a few interesting articles I read the past few weeks that I enjoyed/ think others might enjoy:
This is a beautiful article explaining the Grandmother Hypothesis, and thinking about how wisdom and the human experience gets passed through generations
In a time when when we are trying to make meaning amid so much chaos, I really liked this article against relevance in art
A thoughtful contemplation on what society might look like if friendship and not marriage was at the center of our social lives
This article on Zozobra, or the peculiar form of anxiety that comes from being unable to settle into a single point of view, was thought-provoking
Nature got us through lockdown in the spring and summer. And I enjoyed this article talking about how it can help us get through the next one too
And on that note, I am going to schedule this dispatch to send out to you tomorrow morning, get off my computer and attempt to be a human being in the real world. If you are feeling similarly, please feel welcome to join in on the off-screen revelry.
But wait! Perhaps all of this talk of wispy fumes is feeling a bit too intense on a sunny Sunday morning? Well then check out this lovely short video narrating David Whyte's poem "Blessings"-- really beautiful.
Still too much realness? Then for a little perspective, why not escape this planet and check out this very fun and slightly mind-blowing tour of relative size in astronomy. And speaking of space, in least-important-information-of-the-week news, check out who hitched a ride on this week's SpaceX launch....
From one breathless person to another, I am glad that we can get off our computers and be outside together. I hope you enjoyed this dispatch, and have an abundance-filled week!
Until next Sunday,
The Earnest Platypus