It's what's on the inside that matters
Hello you right side of history.
There seems to be something in the air right now (and not just the dying leaves and phantom flurries as winter draws closer). For many, it seems the shiny-penny vibes of the September new year have faded into a resigned, slightly-too-fast jog on life's treadmill of responsibilities, chores and to-do's. I have had chats with so many people in the past couple of weeks who are feeling okay-ish but breathless-- they are keeping the train on its tracks but already feeling overwhelmed and living in anticipation of the next few months, with their long list of things to accomplish before the even-more-hectic christmas holidays begin.
Whew... it didn't take long for sparkly autumn to harsh those chill summer vibes.
I get it-- we all have a tendency to bite off a bit more than we can chew this time of year. #pumpkinspicedALLTHETHINGS I also feel like we all move a little faster as the weather cools down. But I find I can quickly get lost in the abundance of life swirling around me this season, and then wake up in a January stupor wondering what the freg happened witht he past 3 months.
So in support of abandoning yourself to the autumnal present we are in rather than grasping/gasping at the winterey future still to come, I would like to invite everyone to take a small pause this week to reconnect with where your are right now, and generally check in with what matters to you in this moment.
Now I bet many of you are thinking "Amy is going to tell us to meditate again"... and well, kinda but also not necessarily.
If you are a meditator, please consider this dispatch the opening gong for your mediation journey today.
But for those of you who are not big meditators (or for those who are, but are open to playing around), I wanted to float another technique you might want to try out for looking inward. (Or perhaps more specifically, a look innard... stay with me. This bad joke will make sense in a second)
In short, I read an interesting article a couple of weeks ago about the practice of focusing or "felt sense". An interesting complement/alternative to mindfulness meditation, essentially instead of emptying your mind, felt sense encourages you to tune in to your body and how you are feeling internally as a barometer for how you are feeling emotionally. As you know by now, I am a big fan of meditation, but I get that it is not for everyone and some people are much more connected to their emotions through their bodies rather than their minds. Much like meditation, felt sense is a little nebulous to describe (as most contemplative practices can be), but it might be worth a go to help ground and center your self this time of year.
As the article explains, "the practice of Focusing involves bringing gentle, mindful awareness to a subtle level of bodily experiencing known as the “felt sense.” Felt senses, which lie somewhere between physical sensations and emotional feelings, are a distinct kind of experience. Typically, they are found by bringing awareness to the central part of the body, inside the torso area, and orienting our attention to what is going on inside that space."
Identifying and genuinely feeling our emotions is a great way to help be present in a given moment, but we are often encouraged to manage our emotions when we interact with others and to create boundaries around how we are feeling, labeling feelings as 'good' or 'bad', and shying away from any difficult emotions or experiences that come up. However, with focusing, "rather than merely noting these internal sensations and returning to the breath, as in mindfulness practice, the Focuser chooses to “be with” a felt sense of an issue, gently keeping it company as one might stay with a child or a friend in a state of distress or agitation."
As we have talked about before, it is important to be able to sit with our emotions, including the difficult ones-- because in these periods of stress, general overwhelmedness and feeling like we need to be doing ALL THE THINGS, our insecurities, maladaptations and defenses can bubble up in painful ways. By being present and connected to what is--- whether through our heads or through our bodies--- we can observe and care for ourselves rather than feel awash in a sea of perceived slights and "shoulds".
Want to give "felt sense" a try? Here is a semi-detailed exercise that might give you a feel for the practice (pun intended). And yes, there is also a Wikihow entry for the practice as well. And thank god, since I DEFINITELY needed to refer to the 12 accompanying pictures of someone sitting crosslegged trying to do inward sensing or else I never would have figured out how to do this practice... #jklol
But wait! Is all this talk of internal emotions a bit too personally confronting on a sunny Sunday morning? Then please enjoy Tim Urban's new series on his blog detailing "The Story of Us": a series of (in my opinion) super entertaining longform-withbadly-drawn-picture essays on the human species from the beginning of time until present day and beyond. He just launched this new series recently, and the essays are coming out slowly with many more to come. It is a good time to get caught up with what has already been posted, and to join in on the anticipation of future installments, if you are so inclined.
Still too much realness? Then check out this list of 15 tiktoks that deserve an academy award (and number 15 might be my favourite...)
From one presence-seeking person to another, I am glad that we can ground ourselves together. I hope you enjoyed this dispatch, and have a here-and-now-filled week!
Until next Sunday,
The Earnest Platypus