The meaning of life, the universe and everything
Hello, you arc de triomphe.
Well it happened, friends. As of yesterday, I have officially made it to 42 years old. However, while I continue to advocate for taking any and all opportunities to celebrate life's big and small joys, you will forgive me for basking in the extra special geek-vibes attached to turning 42.
"Wait, what are you talking about, Amy? What's so gosh darn special about turning 42?"
Well for those of us who know and love Douglas Adams' book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, we understand that the number 42 is actually the ultimate answer to the meaning of life, the universe and everything. (Seriously! Try typing the phrase "the answer to life the universe and everything" into google...)
And so, as I launch headfirst into a year full of universe-backed meaning, significance and promise, I thought I would compile a (highly non-definitive, non-comprehensive, non-exhaustive) list of 42 random lessons I have learned from life so far-- in no particular order, with caveats around privilege and personal bias, but offered with humility and respect (and maybe a tongue-in-cheek or two). Please enjoy at your leisure/ discretion, and feel free to let drop me a line and let me know what you would add to the list!
And awaaaaaaaaaay we go!
Immerse yourself in the things you love. Don't listen to what the world around you says you are supposed to enjoy. Experiment to figure out what it is that you love and then lean into those things as much as you can, ideally with joyful and earnest abandon. The rest of the world will figure themselves out.
Cultivate a little (or big) collection of plants and greenery within the space you live.
Say "sorry" when you feel it -- not just because you are Canadian (if you are), and not only because you want to acknowledge the effect you had on another person. You can also say "sorry" as a way of empathizing with another person's experience and acknowledging what happened to them. It can be a simple way of witnessing and accompanying a person's pain.
The world needs you.
Find your people. And be willing to be found. I am lucky to be surrounded by some of the most beautiful people on the planet, starting with my breath-taking family as a base camp, and then extending out from there to a marvelous menagerie of friends and community. I know that I am lucky to have that kind of base to build off of-- many people don't-- but ultimately, we all belong. Be on the lookout, and be open to being found by others.
Slightly-undercooked cookies almost always taste better than fully cooked ones
Your breath is a secret super power. Pay attention to it, give it space and let it do what it does best-- which is to allow you be you, to be present, to be connected, and yet to be more than yourself, all at the same time.
I know it's easy to say and difficult to do, but the world becomes a much more enjoyable place when we can learn to love the things we find most painful or embarrassing about ourselves and others. The reality is that we are all made up of light and shadow. Loving the whole package takes the sting out of the failures and the hubris out of the success.
Trying is doing. We can build something up in our heads, thinking we need to have all the information, all the skills, all the confidence before starting something. But we will never have all the information, skills or confidence. So just try, and learn. You will be fine.
Laugh. So much. Life is tragic, but mostly hilarious.
At least once, go on a trip by yourself/ with yourself. It is a wonderful way to fall in love with a location, and if I am being cheesy (which I am) also with yourself. But truly. Sometimes I have that dream of being able to fly, and it feels so fresh and open and liberating. One of the terrestrial experiences that comes close-ish to capturing some of those flying-dream vibes is to walk around in a location (urban or otherwise) and just turn corners/ backtrack/ swerve wherever and whenever the mood strikes you. No negotiation with someone else, no maps, no destination. Just pure unadulterated and unaccompanied wandering. It is one of life's small pleasures.
Women supporting women is magical and changes the world.
Empathy and compassion are magical and change the world.
Netipots are godsend, and no amount of WebMD warnings and caveats can convince me otherwise #thankyouverymuch.
I have no idea what I am doing, and neither does anyone else.
Being fierce with reality and seeking a balance between acceptance and expecting better are two acts that help provide clarity-- but most importantly purpose-- in living a meaningful life
Cumulative small efforts + time = big accomplishments
If an experience was important to you, write it down. You will be glad you did.
Color is awesome!
Invest in the things you care about. You can invest your time, your money, your endorsement/ reputation, etc.... The point is to get behind the things you care about and support whatever collective effort is out there to make positive things happen
Kindness is a secret super power. Keep it ready to be deployed at all times, and shower people with a generous dusting of kindness at every opportunity. For when you sprinkle it around liberally, it is incredible how much of the dust ends up falling on you as well #clunkydustmetaphor #thepointis #kindnesswins
Make stuff with your hands.
Get comfortable spending time quietly by yourself-- no phone, no TV, maybe some music, maybe journalling, or staring at the wall just being with your thoughts-- even if it is only 10 minutes once a week (and I know even this can be a challenge for people with kids, for example). Part of loving who you are is taking the time to step off the carousel of life, check in with how you are feeling, reflect on what is going on with you, and staying in tune with the ebbs and flows of your wants and needs, your values and what is important to you.
Another easy to say and difficult to do (especially at times for this platypus): I have found that when I can stay open to a person/experience that I might not have otherwise engaged, suspend judgement, give things space and let the world unfold with a sense of curiosity and love, life can surprise us in really interesting and transformative ways.
Always be prepared to be surprised.
Reading is an act of nourishment, an act of communion, and sometimes even an act of rebellion. However, when it comes to living life, taking in information from others is not enough. Reading and knowing is different than experiencing and understanding. Learn, but also get out there and create opportunities to experience the things you think you know.
You are enough.
Having a place to genuinely call "home" is not just a physical consideration but a psychological one too. I know that it is another enormous privilege, but I am so totally in love with having a home that I can call my own. Having place where I belong, where I can return to at the end of the day, where I can create comfort, where I can welcome other people, where I can retreat. It is such a deeply grounding feeling to have a place to be on this earth.
Scrambled eggs with toast is a perfectly acceptable meal at any time of day.
As Sheryl Crow put it "It's not having what you want; it's wanting what you've got". Practice gratitude and celebrate those things you are grateful for
You are so much stronger than you think you are.
Curiosity is a secret super power. It dissolves judgement, it breeds creativity, it connects us directly with other people and the world around us, it keeps us humble, it keeps us learning and experiencing-- and by the way, contrary to popular belief, the proverbial curious cat is alive and well (and having a great time).
Take naps. If you don't like naps (or even if you do), get a solid 8 hours of sleep as often as you can.
Live like there is a little magic in the air. I am not sure exactly what this means really... but at worst, you will find yourself mildly disappointed/smugly satisfied that your doubts about magic have been confirmed. And at best, perhaps you will find yourself unexpectedly delighted by something and life feels a little more sparkly. #unicornvibes
Listen to your body and advocate for your own health if you need to. It is one of the few things in this world that is truly yours.
If you could use a little help, ask for it. You are surrounded by people who are willing to support you. You don't have to wait until you are in desperate need of help to reach out.
Stop and smell the flowers, literally. We are surrounded by so many scents-- both pleasant and unpleasant-- and scent is intimately tied to our emotions. Being a bit more intentional about how we use this nose-brain connection can help us stay in tune with different experiences and times in our lives
Share.
Listen.
Remember that "the real work is learning love. Everything else is just distraction" (from Brianna Weist)
Getting older is awesome. Even the literal and physical pain, the loss, the uncertainty-- all of it is okay to me. Because every day that passes means another day that we have loved and experienced and learned and supported and created and transformed.
Whew! And so endeth the cheese. Go forth, gentle reader. And spread the cheese (or is it cut the cheese?) as you deem appropriate, on this, the commencement of my 42nd year. For the cheese is both given and taken-- in good time, in good stead, in good health and with a happy and cheesy heart. #cheese
But wait! Does all this talk of cheese feel a bit too existential on a sunny Sunday morning? Then please enjoy this list of 50 ways to be ridiculously generous and feel ridiculously good.
Still too much realness? Then in honor of my birthday, please (re)watch the definitive crown jewel of "literal" videos on youtube. There are no words... and yet so many #totaleclipseoftheheart #surprisemirror #slowmodoves #floatingcloth #mulletwithheadlights
From one perfectly-aged person to another, I am glad that we can mark the years together. I hope you enjoyed this dispatch, and have a pleasure-filled week!
Until next Sunday,
The Earnest Platypus